It’s 3.20am, and I’ve given up on the idea of sleep. Half dozing nightmares have claimed that notion. So I’m up, sitting in my comfy recliner with a cup of tea, wondering whether to google OPLL*, its symptoms, causes, surgical options, risks of said options etc. Truth is, I’ve read it all before on many occasions, and it doesn’t help. I’m as well informed about my condition as I can be. Nowhere does it tell me what ‘significant risk’ is in words I can relate to. No percentages, no 1 in 100 for example. I’ll be speaking to my consultant later today, and he’s expecting a decision, but unless he’s prepared to give me those numbers, I don’t think I can make one. ‘Significant risk of paralysis’ is a scary phrase to be tumbling round in my head, but there it is. The reason for my insomnia, my fears, my tears and my current state of mind. So I’m writing this instead, in the hope that having ‘voiced’ those thoughts, I might be able to sleep. So I’ll finish my tea, comfort eat a slice of cake, and see how it goes. Oh, and that cake? It’s the chocolate orange one I mentioned in my last post a few hours ago. I’m up so I took a picture of what’s left! While I was there I thought ‘What the heck’ and took one of the scones and my clotted cream haul too!
Stay safe and healthy,